Happy Mother’s Day
Sometimes as I lie in bed at night and think about my daughter, I get overwhelmed. I start worrying about if I handled everything ‘right’ that day. For example, did I respond to her correctly when I got upset over something? Or did I handle that disciplinary moment appropriately and the thoughts can go on and on and on and the knot in your stomach can grow larger and larger! Ugh…this is not the way to live!
If I plan to get any sleep that evening, I have to tell myself, “Chill out!” Mothers have a tendency to worry about their little ones and anything even remotely related to their little ones.
What is that quote about worry?
“Worry is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere!”
How true!
With this in mind, I want us to do something for ourselves. I want us to give ourselves a present this coming Mother’s Day. Let’s stop worrying, shall we? Some of you may be saying, “Who me…I don’t worry!” But I have a feeling the overwhelming majority of us are saying, “Uh, o.k….how?”
Well, I’ve learned that worrying is a choice. So, we simply choose not to. Yes, sounds easy, but it is hard to do. But you can do it! When those worrisome thoughts start coming, consciously choose to think about something else. You may find yourself refocusing your mind a hundred times a day; but eventually, if you stick with it,the worry habit will diminish! And you will become a much happier person, and in the long run, a much better mommy!
Ladies, can we commit to stop worrying? I am!
So, here’s to all you wonderful mothers out there: Happy Worry-Free Mother’s Day!
Telephone Talk!
You know what one of my favorite toys was when I was a little girl and my daughter has nearly the identical toy today? The Fisher-Price Classic Chatter Telephone!
Do you remember those? Red, blue and white with the happy little face on the front with the eyes that move around when you pull it by the string? I loved that toy. And my daughter loves hers also. During her ‘rest’ time, I let her play with it and she will chat endlessly. I gave it to her when she was around a year old. And she’s enjoyed it ever since….
A telephone is a great toy for your baby or toddler to play with. It encourages babbling, vocalizing, talking…all those things we want our little ones to do! And an even better idea is for you both to have a phone in hand and talk to each other. This is a great way to encourage even more vocalizing and turn-taking as well!
Of course, there is an endless variety of toy phones out there to choose from, but just make sure you have some kind of telephone for your baby to play with. You will be amazed at what they say or try to say. And of course, they will want to imitate you…so watch what you say!
And remember: Get baby-talking!
Be Nice!
Don’t you like it when people are nice to you? I do! And guess what? Babies like it when you are nice to them too!
Babies respond in particular to pleasant soothing tones. That’s why baby talk is so effective! A pleasant, high-pitched sing-songy voice will captivate and capture a baby’s attention like no other!
Baby talk doesn’t mean you are talking like a baby to your baby; baby talk means you are talking and responding to your baby in a melodic manner with clearly articulated speech!
So, you know what I’m going to say now…
Get baby-talking!
Good Job!
How many times as parent do you catch yourself saying to your toddler, “Good Job!” If you are like me, probably a lot!
Certainly there is nothing wrong with praising your toddler for a job well done, but the more effective way to praise your little one is being specific with them about what they did that you liked.
Maybe your toddler, after countless times of being reminded, is finally remembering to be gentle with his or her little brother. Instead of just saying good job, specifically tell them what you liked. For example, “Joey, I like the way you gently hugged Johnny!”
Kids responds to praise, but even more so to specific praise!
So parents, don’t forget: Be specific and get baby-talking!
Catch Them Doing Good!
Let’s continue our discussion regarding communication and behavior. Good speech and language skills in a toddler can help decrease tantrums. If a toddler is adequately able to communicate his or her wants or needs, the less likey they are to have tantrums due to being misunderstood.
But remember though…even toddlers with great speech and language skills can have tantrums because, well, let’s face it…toddlers want things when they want it!
Let’s take some time to look at another facet of behavior in toddlers. It’s very, very important to catch your toddler doing good. Please note that I said ‘doing’ good versus ‘being’ good. Your toddler is good, worthy of love, valuable no matter how they behave. We need to communicate this to them right from the beginning. We love them no matter what; they are our children!
By stressing or emphasizing to our toddlers that they are being good could, unfortunately and unintentionally, lead to a performance mentality in them. And they could start basing their worth or value on ‘how they behave’ versus simply the fact that they are precious human beings worthy of our love!
Do you see the difference? It may seem nit-picky or a semantic issue, but our children process things on many different levels; and the smart and astute parent is willing to delve deeper into their parenting style and make changes when necessary for the benefit of their little one. After all, parenting is about our children, not us, right? Yikes…I’m preaching to myself today!
So, how do we catch them doing good? Simple! Be on the look-out for when they are doing what you have instructed them to do. For example, maybe your toddler has had a problem sharing their toys with the neighbor next door.. No big shock here! When you see them actually sharing their toys without being reminded to do so, tell them! “Hey Joey, great job sharing your hot wheels with Mike!”
Stay tuned for smart ways to praise your toddler!
Don’t forget: Get baby-talking!
The Link Between Behavior And Communication
Boy, I got to tell you, these toddlers years are exciting! It’s amazing to watch your little one blossom into a unique personality that’s all their own! Hopefully, it’s a happy hybrid of you and your partner’s best traits…
One of the challenges we face as parents of toddlers is how to handle discipline. As toddlers learn that they are separate entities from their parents, they endeavor to assert themselves more and more. In other words, they can have tantrums, melt-downs, etc., whatever you want to call it!
Did you know that strong speech and language skills in a toddler will help decrease the amount of tantrums they are experiencing? Often times, tantrums arise because of the toddler’s inability to clearly communicate his or her wants or needs.
This is not always the case. Sometimes, toddlers clearly communicate what they want and it’ not something they are going to get at the time, and consequently, a tantrum may show up!
Stay tuned tomorrow for more information and tips regarding the link between behavior and communication in toddlers!
Don’t forget: Get baby-talking!
Why TV Isn’t So Great For Building Language Skills
Yesterday we talked about actively and animatedly responding to our baby or toddler’s attempts at communication with us. We learned that this was called a contingent response. In other words, our response to them is based on their response to us and vice-versa! This teaches your baby turn-taking skills and also helps them learn to sustain their attention.
There has been a lot of news lately about Baby DVD’s and whether or not they are good for your baby or toddler. One of the reasons baby DVD’s and TV in general are not so hot for your little one’s language development is the lack of contingent response.
A DVD or television program is not going to ‘respond’ to a vocalization or word from your baby or toddler. A baby and toddler’s language development is enriched, enhanced, and advanced by the ‘back and forth’ responses of parents and caregivers!
More on TV viewing and child development tomorrow…stay tuned!
And don’t forget…get baby-talking!
Contingent Response
Actively responding to your baby’s communicative attempts (babbling) is a great way to enrich and promote their language development. Scientists call this a ‘contingent response’. Early in their lives, infants attempt to understand language by reading facial expressions and interpreting the tone and cadence of our speech.
This is why it is important that we actively and animatedly respond to our babies and provide them the feedback their little minds are looking for!
Remember to respond with a nice soothing voice, pleasant facial expressions, and gestures to provide impact to what you are saying to them!
Get baby-talking!
Nursery Rhymes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after.
Remember how much fun nursery rhymes were when you were little? Well, don’t forget to share them with your little ones. They are a great way to introduce rhyming to them.
What’s so important about rhyming? Check out this article about rhyming to learn all the reasons why it is such an important part of early language development.
http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/1146/Rhyming-an-important-skill-for-literacy-development/
Get baby-talking and rhyming!
Connecting Objects With Words
One of the best ways to strengthen and enrich your toddler’s language is to connect words with objects.
In other words….simply tell your child the names of objects as well as give them a description of it too! And don’t skimp on the description…give them more than they need to know. Details, details, details!
Not only will you be building their language repertoire, but you will help your little one learn to sustain their attention as you identify the object and talk about it.
Get baby-talking!